Through the years many games have had weapons that have laid us flat with "shock & awe".  As we blast baddies with shotguns and nuclear arsenals, we sit there and mumble to ourselves, "How COOL was that!?" or "How AWESOME would that be!?"  We all think it would be a good idea to get our hands on a BFG 9000 or a Golden Gun and just wreck havoc GTA style in the real world.  However, be careful what you wish for.  Our world is simply not ready for some of these weapons to become a reality.  This two-part feature will explore some of the more unique weapons that are better off being in our TVs rather than in our actual hands...

Weapon: Shrink Ray

Game: Duke Nukem

Why the World isn't ready:  If shrink ray weapons were a reality, sure geeks would stand more of a chance against bullies, but such is the natural course of nature.  An actual working shrink ray would not only be the weapon of choice for the Military and Terrorists alike, it would also be the staple for any practical jokester or friend looking for retribution against a drunken forehead marker'ing.  Quite frankly, this world doesn't need serial shrinkers.  I'll be damned if I meet my demise from my friend's Chihuahua after busting his chops.

Weapon: Katamari

Game: Katamari Damacy

Why the World isn't ready:  Imagine a substance you roll around which could continually build upon itself using only the objects in it's environment.  This actually sounds less like a weapon and more like a breakthrough experiment gone horribly horribly wrong.  All it needs is the wrong set of hands and that person would go around and think its funny to roll over dogs and humans, eventually leveling whole skyscrapers and worlds.  It's pretty much unfathomable at this point and for good reason, it's the nuke-less armageddon.

Weapon: VooDoo Doll

Game: Blood

Why the World isn't ready:   Admittedly this sounds like a good idea at first.  Some bad driver or jerk messes with you and all you have to do is whip out your voodoo doll and stab it with the closest sharp object and...BAM...problem solved.  A quick and easy way to clean up the much of the earth, though initially sounds good, will ultimately end up being abused like all things this promising.  Imagine a scenario in which little Billy gets pissed off at his baby Sister for tattling on him.  Little Billy gets sent to his room and slams the door behind him.  *poke*...*poke*...and 5 seconds later a mother's blood curdling scream can be heard for miles.  Good in principle...bad for the kids.

Weapon: Super Banana Bomb

Game: Worms Armageddon

Why the World isn't ready:  Why would anyone on this great green planet of ours, want to invent this terrible terrible weapon of mass desctruction.  First off, what airport security guard is going to take your banana?  Sure it was fun going from zero to hero in game by leveling my friends with a blind and desperate Super Banana Bomb toss.  However in the real world, chucking a banana at someone and having it split off into seven nuclear potassium deliveries leaving city sized craters behind has to be against some sort of rules of fair play.  It was cheating in Worms and it is definitely cheating in the real world. 

Weapon: Land Shark Gun

Game: Armed and Dangerous

Why the World isn't ready:  Jesus.  Imagine walking down the street and you happen to pass by a kid you picked on in school 14 years ago.  You don't turn around out of guilt but you can feel the stare piercing into your back as you walk past.  All the regret and guilt builds up to the point where you actually consider turning around and apologizing, but is short lived as it quickly fades into a searing pain as you find yourself in the damn jaws of a land shark.  Talk about a bad day.  If the Land Shark Gun made it into reality, the world would instantly be paralyzed by the same fear that Steven Speilberg reigned down upon us over thirty years ago.  Back then people were scared to go into the water after Jaws.  Now, people wouldn't even get near the ground thus effectively rendering the Earth's surface uninhabitable.  It would be like a full scale Tremor's attack, only worse.

Other articles in the series:

Video Game Weapons the World isn't ready for - Part Two

Video Game Weapons the World isn't ready for - Part Three